New site coming

Ahoy all. As you may have spotted, I've been very lazy with the blog and site recently. Lots have pics have slipped by the wayside and the written word has, well, frankly not been written. Been up to my neck at working on a new look site which should be finished soon.

Loads of stuff to wack up on it and it should be more interactive and indeed stable than this little beauty. So please bare with it and keep listening to the show.

In the meantime heres an old Army pic that 'The Padster' found. We are on Salisbury plain somewhere with our old favourite, J5. Enjoy

Emails tits up

Apologies if I haven't replied to any emails over the last 3 days. Firstly I'm on hols but secondly somehow its all gone breasts aloft with regards to receiving any. Drop me a line if you need to via www.ilovebathfm.com

cheers,

the web eh?.... pants.

John Cleese and Chris Serle at Bristol Zoo

Wandered over to Bristol Zoo recently for quick drink with some old friends. John Cleese was in conversation with the legend that is Chris Serle. The whole evening was a hoot and loads of dosh was raised to support the Zoo.

John is a big fan of Lemurs and actually has a species named after him. The evening consisted of two halves, the first with Chris posing some questions. To be honest though, John rambled on in a very informative and witty way. They have a great rapport together and are good old mates.

Act two consisted of John taking questions from the shop floor. This was a no holds barred grilling and he came out with some corking anecdotes. The highlight of the latter part of the show was inviting a 'bit part' actor up on stage who did ( a very bad ) impressions of the Queen. Apparently they were to star in an american hoover ad together.

Strangley ( or rightly as some may say ) she didn't get to film it. Waffling for England she continued to talk about herself and bore the crowd senseless. Always amusing watching some has been making a total tit of herself.

Cleese came out with a belter and just walked off stage. Legend.

It was the end of the show and nothing was missed. Later we enjoyed champers, a chinwag and a common love for Blue shirts. Gents I salute you.

Back on the rock

Its been an interesting 72 hours to say the least. On Friday Dan, Luke and I went diving down at Vobster Quay in Frome ( www.vobsterquay.co.uk ). I was testing a new Cressi BCD which proved to be like diving in an armchair! Very comfy and very robust. My only gripe is that the pockets are on the smallish size. That said I shouldn't try and fill them with xtra large kebabs.



I was also testing a new SMB and reel much to the amusement of my diving buddies. The reason? On inflation of said SMB at 9 metres down, the fecking reel snapped and my over sized condom broke the surface at a rapid rate of knots. Pro-reel my sweaty cleft. Its also worth mentioning that laughing hard in a regulator requires an element of skill. God bless Mares.


Luckily I get most of my gear from Chris at www.divingdirect.co.uk and they are as good as gold when it comes to sorting issues out. Great prices too!




Saturday day and night saw me at the Gulf War reunion with my buddies from the fighting 21st. For those of you who don't know I actually served 10 years in Her Majestys finest and saw action in the first Gulf War. In my line of work I get to meet loads of celebs / actors / musicians etc but they are bugger all compared to my Brothers in Arms. It truly was a great 14 hour session and it felt like yesterday. Crazy, but nice.


On Sunday night I was on stage with my amigos from Bath FM for a charity gig with The Wurzles. Oh yes, rock and roll baby! More of that at a later date.

Opheus dive - Pathos Cyprus

Just a quicky this. We dived in Cyprus in May of this year. The Zenobia deserves a full write up with vids and pics. However above you can see Dan at the 'Opheus' dive site.

Its sooooooo boring we both fell asleep. What was extremely amusing is that our guide had to surface, not once, not twice but thrice to work out where he was. Bringing us up after a sleep sub aquatic session 50 minutes later, he still managed to distance us 500 metres from the fecking boat.

The Berk.

Wack wack news

HULK ON THE LOOSE

Police from Massachusetts are on the lookout for an eight-foot-tall cut out of
The Incredible Hulk after it was stolen from a cinema.

Officers say they’re confused as to how it could have stolen because it would have needed more than one person to carry it and a pickup truck to take it away. But the thieves didn’t manage to make away with the Hulks feet because they were bolted to the floor.

DEATHLY DISHES

Undertakers from the Ukraine have built the worlds first death-themed
restaurant. Diners can eat in a 65ft long coffin, which is decorated with dozen
of wreaths and normal-sized coffins.

Dishes from the menu are named after local mourning rituals including a dish called Lets meet in paradise.

LOOK AGAIN

A set of identical twins in New York got engaged and married to their fiancés
on the same day. The 28-year-olds became engaged to their long-term boyfriends
on Christmas Day 2006 and decided to have a joint wedding six months later.

But onlookers said they couldn’t tell the pair of girls apart, and wouldn’t have been
surprised if they girls had of swapped round during the service.


DRUNK DRIVER

A man from Australia was charged with drink driving when he fell asleep in his
motorised wheelchair in the middle of a road.

The 64-year-old was more than six times over the legal driving limit, and was charged with operating a vehicle while under the influence. The police first noticed the man slumped in his chair on an exit lane near the city of Cairns.


TABLES HAVE TURNED

An all-girls college in Kent has banned its female students from wolf whistling
at builders. The teenagers have been warned that whistling constitutes
harassment and is completely unacceptable. There have been no registered
complaints from the builders on this issue.

Knockas News - Showbiz / Papers / Wacky

MOJO AWARDS

Welsh singer Duffy has picked up her first major prize.
The twenty-three-year-old won the song of the year trophy for her track Mercy
at the Mojo Awards. Other winners at the event included the Sex Pistols who took the Icon Award. And Led Zeppelin were voted the best live act after their comeback performance in London last year.

AMY WINEHOUSE

Doctors are trying to work out why Amy Winehouse fainted.
The singer passed out at her London home on Monday afternoon.
The twenty-four-year-old spent the night in hospital as a precaution and had a
series of tests. But her collapse is still a mystery.

BRITNEY SPEARS

Britney Spears will not face charges over a car accident.
A photographer contacted the police claiming she ran over his foot.
But officers involved in the case say due to the commotion and noise at the
time, there was no evidence to prove the singer knew what had happened.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO

Leonardo DiCaprio has begun work on his fourth collaboration with Martin
Scorcese.The actor's currently filming fifties thriller Shutter Island. He plays a man investigating the disappearance of a murderer from a psychiatric hospital.

RACHEL STEVENS

Former S Club 7 star Rachel Stevens is planning a big career move.
The one time chart topper says she wants to go into acting. The thirty-year-old looks up to Oscar winners Cate Blanchett and Meryl Streep and admits she wants to be just like them as they can sell a film.

MORNING PAPERS

ARMY FAMILIES

Military families and veterans will be given special treatment on the NHS.
It's part of plans drawn up by the Conservative party. It means they won't lose their place on waiting lists if they have to suddenly move.
TELEGRAPH

CARETAKER

A school caretaker is suing his employers claiming they didn't show him how to
use a stepladder. Anthony Gower Smith ended up in intensive care after taking a tumble off one on the job. The seventy-three-year-old says they gave him insufficient safety advice and
now wants up to fifty thousand pounds in compensation.
TELEGRAPH, EXPRESS

SCHOOL SCIENCE

It's claimed teachers are taking the fun out of science lessons by doing away
with experiements. Education watchdog Ofsted claims those running classes rely too much on textbooks. It means bunsen burners and dissecting frogs has become a thing of the past, leaving many students bored.
TELEGRAPH

SARKOZY'S SON

The son of French President Nicolas Sarkozy is set to follow in his footsteps.
Law student Jean Sarkozy has won a key post to become the regional leader of
the ruling UMP party.The twenty-one-year-old is a teen pin-up thanks to his long golden locks and dazzling smile.
TELEGRAPH, TIMES

DA VINCI CODE

The makers of the prequel to the Da Vinci Code movie have hit a setback.
The Vatican has banned the production from going in the Holy See and any church
in Rome. The film sees Tom Hanks in the role of Robert Langdon again and is due to be released next May.
TELEGRAPH, GUARDIAN

BRAINS

Gay men and heterosexual women have similarly shaped brains.
That's according to research by neuroscientists which shows they follow the
same pattern. The findings suggest that differences in sexual orientation could be laid down in the womb.
GUARDIAN

PRIMARK

Fashion chain Primark has axed three Indian suppliers for using child labour.
The cut price brand said they were angry about the matter and take the lapse in
standards very seriously. It comes just weeks after a TV expose on the retailer was pulled from the schedules.
GUARDIAN

BOY BIRTHS

Fiery females are apparently more likely to give birth to boys.That's according to scientists who claim high levels of testosterone in the womb are a better environment to produce males. The findings aren't definitive though. So far they've only been tested on animals.
MAIL

ULRIKA

Ulrika Jonsson's unveiling her newest child to the world in Hello magazine.
The TV presenter and new son Malcolm are pictured alongside her husband Brian
and three other children in the spread.The forty-year-old says she initially thought Malcolm wasn't a cool name, but her husband talked her into it.
MAIL

PILOT

A pilot saved the lives of hundreds of people after steering his jet clear of a
village. The Harrier jump-jet came down on the edge of Ashwell in Rutland on Monday. The plane didn't stand a chance as it burst into flames shortly after taking
off.The Royal Navy pilot ejected before the crash and was taken to hospital.
EXPRESS

WACKY NEWS

Students at a high school in Oregon have shaved vertical lines into their
eyebrows in a trend recently made popular by hip-hop star Soulja Boy. But
school officials are keen to put a stop to this practice, saying that the mark
looks like a gang symbol. Students won't be allowed to return to school until
their eyebrows have grown back properly or until they have shaved them off
altogether.


Police in Boston, who were trying to find a vandal who ransacked a church,
didn't have to look far when they found the man napping outside the church
before Sunday morning services. Officers found a broken stained-glass window,
chalices thrown about, missing Oriental rugs and an open safe. 47-year-old
Charles Martin resisted arrest and kicked an officer in the groin. A search of
his person found a gold spoon with religious symbols, two knives, a sword, and
prescription pills.


Melbourne police are praising the actions of a taxi driver who offered them a
lift while they were chasing a man on foot. Officers on overnight patrol saw a
man steal a woman's handbag and then flee in a waiting car. Constable Paul
Bartlett says he and two other officers ran after the car, but would never have
caught it had the cabbie not picked them up. Police are now questioning four
men.


A woman who spent 32 years on the run after breaking out of prison in 1976 is
back behind bars after being arrested in California. Marie Walsh was detained
after US Marshals Service agents acting on a tip were led to the
mother-of-three's home in San Diego where she had lived for the past 10 years
following her jailbreak Walsh was known as Susan Lefevre in 1975 when she was
sentenced to between 10 and 20 years for drugs offences.


An Australian man saved himself from being pulled under by a great white shark
by poking it in the eye. The 37-year-old teacher was swimming when he saw a
four-metre long grey shape in the water. He punched the shark but it grabbed
him by the left leg and pulled him under the water. But when he poked it in the
eye he was let go and re-emerged to the surface. A 50-year-old volunteer helped
the teacher to shore from a local surf club.